The Lonely Island - Punch You In The Jeans

Punch You In The Jeans

AKIVA
These days, a lot of catz is outta line

ANDY
Seems to me like they need to get punched

AKIVA
Yeah, but where you gonna punch them?

ANDY
Yo, the choice is obvious

ANDY
I'll punch you in the jeans, I'll punch you in the jeans
This is not a case of man vs. machine

AKIVA
You think that you're safe, thought you got away clean

ANDY
I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans

AKIVA
I've got my fist clenched, gonna throw a hay-maker
Rockin' your slacks from here to jaimaca
Shaking your boots 'cause I'm the earth-quaker
Bringing those jeans around here was a mistake-a

ANDY
I got a vendetta, it's against your jeans
Gonna put my knuckles up against the seams
They could be on your legs, or on the clothes line
But when I see the zipper and cloth, it's go time

AKIVA
And I'm zeroed in, I got the tunnel-vision

ANDY
Gonna cover you in sh*t like a ton of pigeons

AKIVA
Man I hate your jeans, I'm gonna bruise that denim

JORMA
It really doesn't matter, as long as you're in 'em

ANDY & AKIVA
Yo we'll punch your jeans, we said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
Better watch your back, 'cause we're on the creek, and we won't stop until your jeans are six feet deep

AKIVA
Man I'll murder your jeans, I'll feed 'em to the fishes,
Here's what I'd do if I had three wishes
Punch your jeans on all three counts
It would bring me satisfaction in large amounts

ANDY
Yo, if I had three wishes I would do the same
We see eye to eye in this jean punch game (yeah)
I'd lay them in a field where there's chemical spray
But I'd punch them first

AKIVA
Yo that goes without sayin' (yeah)
Acid wash, pleats, or a nifty cuff
It's just another jean for my fist to stuff

ANDY
Throwing fist to cuffs, eat pants like bagged lunches
Jeans pronounced dead

AKIVA
Cause of death?

ANDY
Hecka punches

ANDY & AKIVA
Yo we'll punch your jeans, we said it before,
Best believe this is not a metaphor
You got something to say?
We got the proper retorts
Beat your jeans so bad that they wish they were shorts

ANDY
Gonna revise your Levi's with physical harm
Put divets in the rivets with my physical arm

AKIVA
Gonna beat those jeans, wanna dip 'em in slime
Turn your 501's into 499's

ANDY
When I punch your jean I like to imagine a face
The fly is the nose and the balls are the base of the face

AKIVA:
You got taste and it shows, my man

ANDY
God damn [your jean praying got me throwing my hand]

AKIVA
Gonna go back in time and find the man who made jeans
And choke him to death, if you know what I mean

ANDY
Yo I know what you mean, so keep your jeans on a hush
So breakout out out
When you get a bum rushed

ANDY & AKIVA
You we'll punch your jeans, we said it before
Best believe this is not a metaphor
So take off your jeans and reverse the curse
'Cause we're the best jean punchers in the universe

JORMA
It really doesn't matter as long as you're in 'em (x2)